Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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