next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
My cat gives me a boner
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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