im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
