I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I cockslap morals
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
