What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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