Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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