His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Holy shit dude........stairs
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