She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Randomize
