Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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