I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
