.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
