First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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