I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
