i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
