You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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