I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
