Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
