I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
