'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
His nipple licking is glorious
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