Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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