So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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