Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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