you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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