I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
