i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
