i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
