people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
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