I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
did i just pee glitter
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
