If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
