its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
