would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
