I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
