Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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