I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
