How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
