she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Ladies don't puke and tell
Randomize
