one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Randomize
