My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
