Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
