I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
