So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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