I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
