I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
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