i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
