just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
