apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
