what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Randomize
