guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
