We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
