just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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