I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
