he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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