he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
